It takes a village to raise a child. You'll often hear people trot out this line whenever you talk about raising children. It's said so often that it borders on cliché. Yet, we fail to appreciate the wisdom of these words. It's not just about all the people involved in raising children, but support for mums.
Lots of women go from having a thriving social life to suddenly being on their own with a newborn. Once the paternity period ends and the visits dry up, being a mama can feel quite isolating. Little wonder so many women experience the "baby blues" or postnatal depression.
But it doesn't have to be this way! You can meet new mum friends and build a community to help support each other. With International Friendship Day approaching, we've got a complete guide on making friends, from where to go to ideas for meeting new people. We've also included advice that we've gathered from other mamas on how to make friends as new parent.
Where to Meet People
Baby Groups and Play Groups
The most obvious place to meet new people is a local baby group. Usually, these groups cater to specific age groups, e.g., newborns or toddlers. You'll find them at your local church, community centre, or village hall. It's a chance for the children to play and for the mums to chat and relax (as much as you can).
Another option is postnatal groups. Don't worry if you didn't attend any antenatal classes; you can still join a postnatal group. Here, new mums chat about their experience, share tips and advice, and get to spend time with people going through the same process as you. Ask your health visitor about what's available in your local area.
"Be brave! Join a local baby group, sign up to a baby activity. And don't forget you are not alone, so ask for help - people will be super generous to you." Claudia - Claudia Bradby Jewellery
Local Library
Libraries are a fantastic resource for young children. They host read-a-longs, invite children's entertainers, and much more. Like most of the suggestions in this list, meeting mums is incidental. But then, when you've got a young child, you need something to keep them entertained and occupied.
Get chatting with the other mums and take the plunge, asking if they'd like to grab a coffee or go for a walk. That's how friends are made.
Join a Class
Most towns and cities have classes available for children and mums. Whether it's a 'Little Gym,' a swimming group, or a music class, it's a chance for you to get to know the local mums. It's the best way to get rid of that lonely feeling – you're out spending time with others.
Plus, with kids constantly interacting with each other, they break the ice for you. Soon enough, you're chatting like lifelong friends.
"When you are ready to face the world with your new little best friend, find some baby groups in your area and go along to some of them. Instagram is a great search tool for these kind of things. Email and see if they offer taster sessions if they aren’t a pay as you go group so you can get a feel if that environment is comfortable and welcoming to you." Jill - Mini Tots Stay & Play
Facebook Groups
Social media isn't your enemy. Sure, endlessly scrolling on Instagram or TikTok can make you feel even more isolated. But it can be a great place to start the journey to find your tribe.
Rather than relying on social media to pass a few moments, use it to organise real-life meet ups. You'll often find local Facebook groups dedicated to new mums. Make a post asking for recommendations in the local area, or be honest about wanting to meet local mums. You can even take it upon yourself to host a meetup for mums (be the change you want to see and all that.)
"With Charlie, my second little girl, we were still under social restrictions when I had her so it was harder to make new friends, chatting via mum social media groups was a great way of feeling part of a parenting community when meeting in person wasn't possible. Once the restrictions were lifted, I made some new mum friends, mainly by connecting at the school gates, chatting with other mum’s that my childminder had introduced me to and making the effort to talk to people at kids birthday parties." Lucy Palmer, Founder of Hair Gain, an award winning, vegan hair care solutions range that helps support new mums experiencing post partum hair loss.
Tips for Building Lasting Mum Friendships
1. Listen. Listen. Listen.
Struggling for something to say? Ask questions. "How old is so-and-so?" "Are you local to the area?" "Got any tips for a new mum?" Anything can spark a conversation, and people generally like someone who listens to their answers. Having questions prepped also helps soothe any social anxiety.
"When I had my first little girl 10 years ago I met quite a few friends via my NCT group. I also took my daughter Molly to various Parent & Baby groups locally, as well as trying activity groups such as baby sensory. While I didn't connect with everyone, I did make a some friends at these groups, plus it’s a great excuse to get out the house for a few hours and eat yummy food and drink much needed coffee!." Lucy Palmer, Founder of Hair Gain
2. Forget About the Age Differences
Meeting new mums means connecting with people across a range of ages and backgrounds. Put aside your preconceptions. If you're in your early- or mid-twenties, there's no harm in joining a group of 30-somethings. You'll be surprised by how much you have in common.
3. Keep Going
Didn't make any connections the first time you went to a baby group? Don't swear off going back. The more you go, the more you become part of the furniture. Eventually, you will spark a conversation with somebody – just stay friendly, open, and ready to engage. Trust me; it's the best way to make friends as a mum.
“My biggest piece of advice for new mums would be to get out there, showered or not! I know it’s challenging to leave the house, especially at the beginning. Give yourself small and steady goals, coffee shop one week, mum club another, baby sensory class the next. When you get out, you give yourself the amazing opportunity to meet your mummy soulmates who are in exactly the same situation as you. Whether it’s long walks with the buggy to your local park, treating yourself to a coffee-shop coffee, or signing up to a mummy class just for you, just get out as much as you can. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to connect with another mummy at the same stage as you when you put yourself out there." Amber Taylor, Founder of Chomp, the home of baby weaning essentials.
4. Make Plans
Talking only gets you so far. If they're not instigating plans, you should. Suggest meeting up for a play date, invite some of the mums around to your house, or plan a trip to a local soft play. With a concrete plan, you're no longer just acquaintances; you're well on your way to becoming friends.
After a few meetups, it gets easier and easier to keep in touch. Just remember to be friendly to the next new mum who comes to the group – that way, you make it easier for those who come after.
"My tip for making friends as a new mum is to woo people with cake! When I had my first baby I noticed a few other women on my street also pushing prams around, so I invited them for a tea and cake afternoon at my house. Word spread and in the end there was 12 of us, all living on the same street with babies the same age. We started having cake afternoons every week, taking it in turns to host and 13 years later we are still all very good friends!" Marieke - founder of SNACKZILLA
5. Meet Up Without the Kids
“Without… the… kids…” I know, it sounds unthinkable. You're so sleep-deprived and besotted that the thought of time without your child seems like a distant memory. However, you are allowed a little time off. Ask your partner, parents, or another family member to look after your little one while you meet up with your new friends. Even something as simple as coffee and cake works wonders.
"As new mums, we’re all finding our feet but as a group you will find your feet together and find amazing support. There’s nothing like the shared experience of motherhood to start a conversation so don’t be shy to introduce your baby and your birth story and before you know it you will have found new friends who truly understand you because we’ve all been there." Katie - Bibbly Boo
We aren't just here with the best advice and tips for new mums. We also have an incredible collection of must-have items for babies and toddlers. From practical changing mats to beautiful blankets and sleep essentials, we've got everything you need to look after your little one. Browse our collection today.